Down a black hole it went

I finally have confirmation of where some of my things went.

Recently, a massive black hole was discovered simmering at the center of the Andromeda galaxy. It has a tonnage of 140,000,000 suns and is accompanied by a great many blue stars.

This monstrosity was discovered when an astrophysicist spotted a single blue dot and a few pixels where they weren't supposed to be--through the Hubble Space Telescope, of course.

After reading this exciting news, I started making a list of things I have lost recently in hope that some future explorer might be able to retrieve this stuff and return it to me. NASA, here's my list of lost stuff:

• Stock options from my last company
• Many stock picks done in the late 99 and early 2000s.
• A few of my college nights (mostly Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays)
• Personnel requisitions (this is ongoing)
• A lot of single socks (red, blue and black and one paisley--from 1984)
• A few expense reports
• My good looks
• Some of my blond hair
• Things I am telling my kids
• and many more things that I do not remember – I think my memory went down the hole with all the rest.

Hope this will shed some light on the "mystery pixels" in this black hole for our fellow astronomers.